smile, because i deserved to

I'm sad...

2010-10-04T00:54:00.000+08:00

Like damn sad right now... Cos my internet is being a bitch at this hour, it screwed up and I'm unable to play dota. I miss playing it SO much that no one would understand. :( my ping is freaking 2000+ and I don't know what the f causes it. I'm so sad and I couldn't figure out what's wrong? Is it starhub? Or someone else downloading some pron shit? Or is it the laptop's not behaving well? :(

It's gonna be a longgg day tomorrow. Get up early to have breakfast, go to the office to collect memos etc, work till 6, after that go for lessons till 10pm omg so tiring and I'm still not asleep yet. Sigh, I'm still not giving up now. Hopefully the net problem could be solved and I can play a game to satisfy my craving for the game. :( I'm sucha boy! At times, I really wish I'm behaving more feminine. Lols what a joke. Hahaha wtfbbqmaozedong~

it's a hundred times easier to break a relationship than a friendship.

2010-10-02T21:29:00.000+08:00

Time to update this shit yea.

I can't remember how long ago was it since we last talked to each other. But seeing those photos of you and your smiles relieves me. I'm glad that you're doing fine and still putting on the big smile which I love to see on you. :) it's good that you've reconcile with her as well because blood is thicker than water, I feel genuinely happy, from the bottom of my heart, that all of you are getting along well together. I know you're better off without me. As a friend, I'm so useless, insensitive, irresponsible, self-centered and all the bad things you could think of. I could be awarded for the worst friend for this life, and that may explain why I don't have any close friends.

Feeling reeeeeally emo right now. I wish I can club tonight but I can't. My teeth is giving me the worst nightmares, the pain which I'll never wanna go through again if I had a choice. :( I need to vent out my frustrations, I need to scream, I need loud music. Sigh. Actually, I do think of you every single day, I can't help it but all the things I do just reminds me of you naturally. I can visualize your big smile with super white teeth as I'm typing this. Haha, take care and I hope you are as happy as compared to the photos I see you in. :)

Versace Bright Crystal

2010-06-22T20:23:00.001+08:00

YAY! My new love!!! :D

New.

2010-06-20T13:00:00.001+08:00

Hi there! New template.

Wish I could blog more but I'm too lazy to do so. :(

Something.

2010-05-17T19:23:00.000+08:00

Smile always.

2010-04-08T13:13:00.003+08:00

I'm a full timer for Shu Uemura after 6 months, finally. I've been waiting for this day to come and I almost give up because the amount I was earning was way too peanuts. I'm surprised I could still live till to date with the peanuts salary. Hahaha.

Quite satisfied with the life I'm leading now. Just that I've no friends. Seeing people celebrating their 21st birthday inviting hell lots of best friends is making me feel sad for myself. :( Boohoohoo.

I know there's bizzle by my side whenever I need him but I've been reflecting myself and I'm far too selfish to keep him by my side for myself 24/7. I'm sorry but I'm just too used to it, too used to rely totally on you. I know we see each other every single day and the last time I saw you was 4 hours ago and right here now I'm missing you. I'm sorry I'm sorry please do whatever you want and stop giving in to me already. You're making me very very dependent on you. What's gonna happen to me when you're serving NS?

Sigh, bizzle ah bizzle. If you think I'm ill-treating you just say can?? All the time I've been the one making a fuss and crying and giving so much troubles but I never thought that you might be the one feeling the worst of all even though you never drop a single tear before ever since our last breakup. :( Dui bu qi wo yi ding hui bu chang gei ni de hao ma. Ai ni... <3

Head over heels, still.

2010-02-08T23:05:00.005+08:00

I started camwhoring like siao ever since I had Lifeframe. :x

Okay, finally...Finally I gather all of my courage to call and make an appointment with the dentist. What? I'm scared of dentists since young cannot meh... :( But I've always wanted to do braces and I know it might take up to 3, or even 4 years of being an ugly freak. But I believe it's all gonna be worth it... Haha.

I think I'm lke, damn weird or something. Cos I kept forcing myself to go and see pictures of people who has perfect straight teeth so it will be able to motivate me a lil more.

Hmm, most of the ppl who did braces looked better than nefore but there're some, who look even worse. Omg, I'm super worried that will happen to me, like after all those years then the braces made my mouth distorted...

Sigh sigh sigh, shall go for the consultation and see how first. I'm scared to the max. My problem don't lie with the uneven-ness but also ugly teeth. I swear I have the most ugly teeth ever, 2 tiger teeth looking like a vampire lor. Sian, always don't have confident to smile with my teeth. :(

And I can only smile like this forever...:( At times with the correct angle then I can smile with a bit teeth bt most of the time, 90% without. :(

the mask

2010-02-04T23:51:00.003+08:00

Doing mask right now. Wishing my face will become as smooth as egg white. Heh. 10 more minitues! :D

At the same time, watching america's next top model and cooking cafe world.

Damn I'm so hungry that I could kill for a tom yum maggi mee now. :(

da jia haozzz

2010-02-03T00:49:00.003+08:00

Fml I thought I forget my email address and password for this freaking blog. LUCKILY I retrieved it back. muahahahahaz.

Life's been rather good, just minus the penniless days and I'm doing very the fine. :)

I kept reminding and telling myself I should get my ass and blog something and not just work work work and work. Well, I'm just plain lazy. :(

Anywayz, thought of getting either a miniature poodle or miniature schnauzer. Still deciding leh, have to think of A LOT of things.

-What if the new pup can't get along with bee?

-What if it's not being properly trained to socialize and end up growing up with a personality that fears?

-What if it's sick? Can I afford the cab fares? I can't probably let a dog ride a bike with me can I?

-Grooming? Spaying? Regular attention? Vaccination? Yearly checkups?

Well well, still pondering... I don't want it to end up having a lousy owner.

Must. Think. Hard...

Boohoo, this boy is gonna have his accounts paper later in the morning. Dragged him to the library after my work for him to study while I read through my favourite PETS books. LOL. And now he just finish his last few revisions, looking damn shag.

But I really want him to do well and not repeat the module, waste time only. :\ B PLEASE DO WELL OR GET A PASS AT LEAST. give you many kisses if u do well can a not?! Or I can buy you some presents as encouragement. Hehehehehe. :D Sleep well, eat well, study well. :)

Nightsss.

p.s Feel like going ph tonight. Should I? Feels damn long didn't club already... Since last last saturday. Boo...

love is all around!

2009-11-04T16:22:00.003+08:00

Hello! Jf says that this pic looks like ghost! Haha! Just wanna test and see myself in center parting but failedzzzzz.

Opps! I haven't been updating this shit blog for more than a month!!! :( I don't mean to neglect it but I JUST HAVE NO TIME you see. I find it very hard to squeeze out this little free time to blog. Hmmmm, supposely wanted to go solo shopping today but I think I've spent more than enough so i shall stay home today!

Not sure whether gonna hit the club tonight though. :\ Very paiseh to go again and I wonder if anyone rmb my face from last wednesday. Aww, long story, don't talk about it.

ANYWAY, life at shu was great, am adapting to it kinda well and I'm sure I'll be facing even more challenges and obstacles as time goes by. I know that right now, I'm new and they just judge my overall performance by sales figure only, which is I'm very very weak at. :( It's stressful at times but I just have to get by it, no choice since life's like that.

Blah blah blah... Enough of writing!

The first pic was taken ytd and this one is taken today. Lols, nothing better to do lah so tried out different colours of eyeshadow.

Anw dating with Jf yesterday, we had our fav fantastic arnold's chicken for lunch and bedok 85 market for dinner! Omgosh, I seriously don't mind having this everyday! Crisscross fries, potato wedges, mashed potato, FRIED chicken, otah, carrot cake, hokkien mee, chicken porridge, western!!! :DDD

We went to cineleisure specially to take neoprints and I love it very much!!! WHY DIDN'T I TAKE NEOPRINTS WHEN I HAD MY EXTENSIONS ON?! Now that it's gone, it's too late to regret. :( AND I can't scan the pictures into the computer and put to fb and show off cos the scanner's not working. :( Zzzzz! But I swear I love them so much that I don't mind taking for another 10 times! :x

Nvm, let the pictures taken by my phone replace em first. But in very lousy qualityzzz.

baby, you're the sweetest thing on earth,
you're special and the one and only person i'll ever have,
love the warmth from your hands when you hold me,
and the way you protect me from every single thing.
i'll never forget, all the smallest things you've done for me.
please, be safe for me and let's work hard together towards our goal okay?
loves, xoxo <3

insomnia

2009-09-29T00:23:00.010+08:00

Supposed to be happy and enjoying myself cos it's my last day today at the boutique and I'll be flying off to bangkok on wednesday morning. When I come back from my holiday, I'll start to have my training... Then start to bear a target and do my best to perform well.

So... I should be happy right? Spending my last few days, hours or even minutes tgt happily with you. But why does this happen? I refuse to admit I'm in the wrong, I refuse to speak.

There goes again, my freaking bad habit...

Yes, yes my bad if you wanna put it in your way.

You gave in too much to me, you always apologize even when you're not in the wrong, you'll always hug me and say, "okay baby, it's my fault okay? let's not quarrel anymore..." You'll always make sure I'm comfortable in my bed, cover the blanket for me, make sure the door is closed, lights are off before you leave.

I know I'm taking things for granted. I'm selfish.

I only want you for myself.

When I'm viewing pictures of female bloggers, you can't see it, not even a glance.

Why have I become like this?

What has become of me?

I'm sucha bad-tempered, attitude bitch.

What have I done to deserve all the good from you? You are so stupid to do all this. I'm just an immature bitch. I don't even give you a chance to be angry with me when you ARE supposed to be. :(

I don't know what to say. Can we forget what happened tonight? I'll just stop twittering already, I'll delete the application in my phone. No more twitter for me. Tmr is a new day...

Thanks for sending me to and fetch from work, and also your cashcard's balance's running low. All because of the peak hours' ERP. When I get my pay, please let me top up $20 for you every month. :)

Thanks for the company on my every lunch hour. :)

Time to sleep sleep already, got plans tmr!!! :D

first day of work

2009-09-22T23:45:00.002+08:00

Boo boo! Work isn't as hard as I thought, colleagues aren't as unfriendly as I thought, things aren't as hard as I thought. Everything was not as scary as I thought! I JUST THINK TOO MUCH! :D

I'm really excited to learn and understand more about the products. But I can't serve any customers yet, until I'm being trained and confirmed as a permanent staff. Strict eh? Hmm, understandable lah. Who'd want those newbies and beginners to serve and then spoil the good reputation? Haha.

Basically, I'll be the observer in the boutique, learn as much as I can just by looking. Haha, and also do the cleaning, must be spic and span. Not even a small little dirt must be seen! That's a challenge to me cos I seldom do any house chores. Hahaha. :x I'm sure I'll be gaining more and more relevant experiences each and everyday. Looking forward to the future with shu, hope I can stay there for long term! :D

Anyhow, I hate the lights there, totally shine out all the flaws on the skin. Ewww, ugly and look dehydrated lor! I think I have to pour more foundation on my face already for more coverage. :x I saw the magic of the cream foundation when one of the colleagues used it.

O. M. G was the word in my head. I was thoroughly amazed by the cream foundation. Its coverage is damn good and successfully smoothen out the whole skin! Now I'm so tempted to get it. Oh no, shit shit shit!

Haha, excited for tomorrow night's clubbing! I miss powerhouse so much! And DJ Kzeeeeee also ah. He looks so like a brown teddy bear. :x PHPHPHPHPHPHPH! WAIT FOR ME TMR KAY, I'M GONNA ROCK YOU! :P

last day of freedom?

2009-09-22T01:08:00.001+08:00

I've repeated this so many times, that I'm very very nervous about first day of work tmr!!! To be exact, it's actually later on! I gotta wake up at around 730am? And report for work at 930am! Omgosh omgosh! CALM DOWN CALM DOWN CP!!!

Seriously, I'm not too sure what's the main thing that I'm worried/scared about. Cause I really treat this very seriously? I'm afraid of losing it? Well, don't worry too much. Just gonna do my usual blogging and go to sleep asap. :)

Alright, I'll definitely miss blogging after I start to work AGAIN. Yea, no time for myself already, don't think will have the extra time for blog either. But still hope I'll be able to write something here once a while to keep my friends updated a little. :D

My goal for now, is to get stable at shu uemura. DON'T GET SACKED OR WHAT! Work as long as I can, gain as much experience as I can, and most importantly, save as much as I can. :) The good and bright future of mine is in my hands! I want to settle down as young as possible, don't wanna be an old mama who's got generation gap with her kids! :D

Okeey dokey, here's a more proper update...

Today, which is like, my last day of freedom? Haha, so hjf and I both makes it a point that we shall go dating in case we have very little chance after I start work.

Ah ha! We went to do something we always LOVE to again. Kiaping soft toys at arcade! HAHA! Went over to PS's arcade tot try our luck. Quite a number of choices there and mostly were sooo cute! And you know there'll be those mega huge sized ones at a corner which seldom attracts people? Cos everyone would most probably think it's a mission impossible MISSION. Haha...

Then our backside itchy, took about 3 tries... Really like impossible leh. :( But he's so persistent, that he wanna catch it and he thinks that there;s a chance if we don't give up.

Eventually, we went to exchange another $10 of tokens...

Eh... I think the quote, "NEVER DAY DIE." is quite true? COS WE GOT THE MEGA SOFT TOY!!! I was super surprised and elated over it. Keep smiling and smiling like thissss :D

And when I wanted to share a picture of it at twitter, it kept failing and failing. Fucking frustrated, tried twitpic also cannot. Please go eat shit lah, I think there's something wrong with my phone cos I can see other people uberpic-ing and not me! :( $&#*(!$*&#!@ CHICKEN NEH NEH POK!

Anyway, here's some pictures of it, it's uber cute and huge and I wanna hug it to sleep everynight! ^^

Looks small in the pictures without any comparison but actually its head is like 3 times of mine? HAHA!

Can see? Hahaha...

Wanted to catch a movie but... Short of cash. :x Actually it's only one-sided thinking of mine, I thought we'll be catching a movie but no. Hmmm.

I'm getting too tired to type already ehhh...

Just see the pictures okay. :D

Just look at the scar on his left cheek. Big right? Looks like an injury or a fall. IT'S JUST A PIMPLE SCAR LOR! But why so big and humongous? Itchy hand go squeeze then become like that lor.

I think it's almost a size of a 10 cent coin. Hahaha! :x Never squeeze it out man. Not only does it produce the disgusting liquid thingy but also leaves an ugly scar. Ewwwww!!! Lesson taught already? :P

Kua kua kua... And he kept trying to hide it but can never run away from my shot! :D Being a girl is still the best, at least girls can use a concealer and cover up for the time being until it heals but guys have to live with it, seeing it all the time when he looks in the mirror. Hahaha. :x

More peekies...

When will we have a proper date again? Can we really save up? Can we really last this relationship? Time will answer all my questions eventually. :D

How I wish you could skip army so we can save up faster and earn for money for our account... Let's do this together yea? Stay strong always, never give up!

Nevertheless, I do love you a lot a lot and you know it. :)

Oh oh... And more peekies. Took too much today, just have to throw the whole chunk here. :D

May this love last forever. Everyday is a V.day with you around. <3

//

Sigh, I can't smile properly forever... Without getting a braces. It's really very ugly and such a turn off. Why I have such crooked teeth?! All my family members doesn't have and it's only me!!! Always having a damn big problem smiling and laughing out loud. Maybe that's also the reason why I'm speaking quite soft, because I don't really dare to open my mouth too big, thus the soft voice. :(

I'm really looking forward to putting it, I must get it if not I'll just frown over all my photos when I see my own ugly shit smile. :( Hopefully, by this year end? Gonna cost a bomb to my pocket again... Sigh.

Whatever it is, wishing myself good luck for work later. Goodnss, already past 130am! Gotta run to lala land! Nights and sweet dreams to myself. CP, you can do it. :)

some random stuffs to share!

2009-09-19T15:42:00.001+08:00

being as boliao as usual at home, i took some pictures. just wanna test the camera and as a result, it's not so bad eh. :D

you've seen the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th little cuites that he caught for me. ever wondered which one's the first? it's...

a CJ7!!! it look ugly in the picture here though. this picture doesn't do justice to it! haha, it's much cuter in real life.

hmm, if i remember correctly, it was way back in 2008 when we first got together. our first movie we watched tgt was CJ7! and few weeks later he caught in from some random machine which i forget where it is. i never thought that i had the chance to play the catching-toy machine with my bf, someone who i love. :D

AND! i thought it'll never happen again. who knows? now he promised to catch one for me every month! how can not happy?! well, he's fulfiling it and i can see the effort. hope he won't stop or break the promise. :x

and... my hamsters! manage to take a few pictures of them! i can feel they're living in their own world, much happier than before? haha. they're more tamed as well! i'm so glad. :D when they first came in, i have a hard time catching them. i was very gentle to them but i always can't grab them. lols.! but everything improved now. happy happy!

let me introduce mico first!

BOO!!!

who's that!!!

caught you, mico! munching on its fav food. :D

hello i'm mico. my owner just recently figure out i'm a female! i love to run on the wheel and exercise a lot. basically, i'm very small sized actually. but after my owner separate me and marco, i've been living in a smaller tank. i have no space to run about and hence, i became fatter!

hey, don't blame me, i'm actually a fast runner but all the good food here is so tempting! my owner even fed us with her dog's dry food(biscuit)! tasty tasty yum yum...

AND NEXT! it's marco...

hello? yes? you called me?

i love to eat and bite things! i don't run on the wheel, it's so tiring. i'll rather chew on something else than exercising...

i reckon my owner prefers me to mico because... you can see, she's feeding me! and i'm living in the bigger cage, i have everything here in the cage. water, food, wheel, 2 storey cage, bathing sand.

and she always prefer to play with me rather than mico. i don't know why?! i think maybe it's because mico killed parco, that's why she favour me more... hehe. oh, there's once when i was put in a paper box. i was very active at night and i kept biting on the corner of the paper box. bite and bite... and the hole eventually got bigger! i crawl out of the box... and poof! i dropped into a sports shoe.

i stayed inside the show for around 2 days, hoping my owner would find me and she did! so happy to be back in my cage. :D

and of cos, i'm definitely cuter and lovable than mico! see, i have more pictures taken than mico. hehehe...

//

LOL! people who are boliao a home everyday will do such things. acting like a hamster talking. hahaha! i think they're both so photogenic! they look cuter and rounder in pictures leh! feel like squeezing them!!! :D

wanna owe hamsters too? they are so easy to care for and i actually prefer those which are less active, not those breeds like robroskis(?) which can run very fast. what for you get a hamster when you can't even catch and play with it right?

haha. winter whites are the cutest to meee. :D

no life.

2009-09-18T19:51:00.001+08:00

everyone has to accept the fact that...

one has no life when he/she is working
AND
one has no money to enjoy life when he/she is not working!!!

BAH!!!

that's just life and we have to accept it. :(

i think it's really not as easy to be a BA(Beauty Advisor). i went for the interviews and i've been thinking a lot. being at my age, most people must be studying and pursuing their diploma/a levels or even in U alr lor. and me? trying my best to get into beauty line because i found out that's my passion and i wanna do something that has to do with MY passion. :D

but then again... once i've stepped into working life, that's it. i must be really commited to it and i'll have not much time for other stuffs. probably i'll lose my friends and fun times. BUT i keep thinking and thinking, it seems like it's unavoidable. eventually everyone has to go on with their own career and lead their own life. :( i think that's the point of time people lose contact and all. sigh, really don't wish for that to happen. things are already not going well for me now, i don't want it o turn worse.

*prays hard*

okay, i got into shu uemura and will be starting my training from next tuesday onwards, at ion orchard!!! I AM SO FREAKING MAD NERVOUS ABOUT IT!!! do you understand my feeling? very very very nervous, don't know how to put it in words. :( i'm really worried that i'll screw up or something. this chance is really hard to come by cos i have zero experience in beauty line! so if i don't do well, i'll be kicked out. :(

how how how?! i have no confidece at all luh. just hope that i'll make as minimal mistakes as possible! but! first things first, need to tone down my hair colour! but i'm still not sure of dye-ing it to black or just tone down to darker brown? and my day 1 attire too!!! i don't have any work attire in black leh. shitzxzxzxz! $&*#!(@$#@ :(

bye bye my bright orange hair... no more dye-ing of bright colours anymore!!!

and also... no more foundation+lipbalm+blusher+drawing of brows only make up anymore...

bye bye bye!!~ i'll have to stick on fake lashes and put on heavier makeup to work. hopefully my eyelids won't get infection or start to peel again. it's really painful. and i'll never apply mascara cos i have very little amount of lashes which will look like shit when i apply mascara. :(

//

anyway, ytd after my interview...

was alr feeling very tired and all from waking up damn early and drying my long long hair and putting on make up. tiring leh. hate the part when i have to wait for the hair to dry and combing it thoroughly plus straightening. zzz.

and then went home! felt more comfortable after removing the makeup! but still, i conceal my undereyes. aiya i'm very self conscious and i don't want him to see my dark circles even though he said he doesn't mind my bare face BUT i mind!!! nvm, i'm just weird. :\

mmm, feels so homey. messy but i like!!

thank you for sending me from ubi to macpherson to dhoby ghaut to bukit batok to raffles place to clarke quay to bugis for the sake of my interviews... thank you so much. you know i appreciate everything you did. i'm very tired and i know you must be feeling TIMES TWO tired than me. you need to concentrate on roads and look for the locations under the hot sun.

thanks... for bringing me here and there, wasting your fuels. 'sun-tanning' with me during the super hot afternoon and not forgetting, being drenched from head to toe otw home... i think i can't find any dry part on you. even your boxers are wet in the rain i think? LOL. sorry, and thanks! :) much loves. <3

do you know?

2009-09-15T18:17:00.003+08:00

i'm feeling very stressed, by money! money is like everything. you don't have money, you can't do anything. thailand trip is nearing and i haven't got enough cash with me right now. desperately need money so badly. my oh my, why am i so pathetic? i really wanna start to have savings, i'm serious! but i can't seem to be satisfied...

it's depressing to see pretty good quality pictures on blogs... but not mine. :( initially i wanted to get a semi camera only. now, i'm even more greedy! i think of getting a dslr. i know i know, someone please slap me on my cheeks. :( goodnesssssssss! why would i even need such a pro cam right? but this pictures very very nice leh. awwwwwww! i gotta stop myself! try to cut down on my cosmetics buys as well. all those useless stuffs and unwanted things need to be STOPPED!

need some motivation here and there...

right now na na na, need to solve the first problem FIRST...

happy 19th months

2009-09-15T04:11:00.000+08:00

it's past midnight alr leh! our actual monthsary date is 14th. here's a belated post! :D

HEY YOU! hehe. thank you YOU! for not leaving my side when we broke up... during the period of time..... of 6 months? i think so! haha. i'm so glad that we're back tgt. i'm sure what i really want for myself now. yes! i wanna spend my rest of my life with you. :D don't know these sparks will last anot though... i know that you've been assuring me all the time but still... i see happy couples end up in a sad ending. :( so you cannot blame me to have that kinda negative thinking eh. prove me wrong k? haha. :)

baby, thanks for everything. i know you did it all for my sake. :)

okay! so, we had our supper at the usual favourite place of mine. at bedok north 85 market!!! i'll never get sick of the food there. omgosh, the chicken porridge, chicken wing, otah, carrot cake, hokkien mee... and others which i had not try yet!!! YUMS~ but there'll be a temporary closure from 22nd onwards. so sad! no more supper for me then... :(

anyway... here comes our fav carrot cakeee!

eh? i don't know what's the white patch on my side of my right eye. think i slapped too much pressed powder on that area and didn't blend properly. aiya, just need something to cover my dark eye circles...

and then you see my brows! like thinner than usual... didn't realize it until today i draw it! me don't like. :( like auntie lehzxzxzxzxz.

here's a big face of hjf.

got shine leh. hehe. btw it's so unfair. how come guys normally don't have dark eye circles one? i thought guys are mostly hardcore gamers who game till morning? but still no signs of any shit fine lines or tired eyes. what shit is this man. eat shit lah. &$#*(!@$^*#@$

BTW! earlier this morning, we thought we lucky lucky got a lobang job. good pay somemore!!! in the end when we reach there, the person in charge said they only needed guys? some miscommunication lor! waste my sleeping beauty time. zzz.

then when we're about to go, i tried to act like hjf. try to start the bike, act shuai and all. THEN HE SNAP UGLY PHOTO OF ME! YEA REVENGE ON ME I THINK??

you see you see...

i think i saw a shit face there. =.=

wtf, i got elephant leg here. i thought my legs not that fat?! hjf, pls improve your photo taking skills... :P

ahhh, an exclusive photo of him i have. i put fake lashes, eyeliner, foundation, lipgloss, drew his brows, a bit of blusher on him!!!

fucking funny, i just anyhow colour his eyebrows like some wayang. time for opera show! LOL. see, he got double eyelid after i apply the fake lashes on him. fun fun fun! next time i wanna try eyeshadows. :x don't angry okay? :D

always making me laugh till i roll on the floor. :x yada yada... lazy to type already luh.

happy monthsary to us okay. :) loves lovesss. <3

i'm sorry NOT

2009-09-13T21:43:00.000+08:00

sorry to the people to love me. no, exclude my family please cos i don't love them. :)

had a quarrel 2 days back. i was being screamed at, shouted at, scolded at. i'm very used to it already but don't know why i felt extremely more angry than usual. i was so angry and frustrated with my fucking life till i didn't know what i was doing. i tried looking for a penknife, i couldn't find it anywhere inside my room.

saw a big pink hairband, i broke it into 2 pieces and cannot stop scratching my left hand with it. i think i did it for 20 times or so, finally calmed down for a bit but the crying didn;t stop. it lased around for 2 hours...

i'm not crazy, i just need to find something to vent out my frustrations. i know what i did sounds like those typical stupid teenagers, no i'm not! anyway, i regret what i did lah, my hand is so ugly now with the damn scratches. fml.

sometimes i just feel it's not easy to be in his family. you know how it feels? probably won't cos you'll never be me...

you don't know how much hate i have towards these bunch of people. they don't like me, they hate me to the core. in that case, why sill gave birth to me? haha. should have aborted me. :) i just want my own freedom and do the things i want, hate to be controlled and being asked about this and that and everything.

you know why i don't answer anything back at all? bcos no matter what i say, i'll always be wrong, i'm never right. you adults are always right and you all think i should do everything your way. correct? oh, do you also forget that, i'm a semi adult already? do you rmb what's my age? i'm 19 years old for goodness sake. i'm not 3 year old. haha. must be getting old that's why you forget my age. :)

fine, do whatever you want. when i have the chance, i'll just get out of this fucking place. sick of everything here. bb. :)

thank you...

2009-09-13T14:31:00.003+08:00

for not forgetting your promise. :)

it's...

the 4th,

the 5th,

the 6th!

love love! <3 :D

11 more to go!!! you owe me one okay? catch more more more for me, i wanna see!!! :D

baby love you always!!!

i gotta feeling...

2009-09-09T22:43:00.001+08:00

i gotta feeling,
that tonight's gonna be a good good night. :)

powerhouse here i come! :D

for parco love, R.I.P!

2009-09-09T10:48:00.001+08:00

dear parco, i hope you're doing fine in heaven right now. i'm sorry to cause your death so tragically. even though i had you for only a few weeks, i still love you dearly.

you're always the cutest and the one i favour the most among the three. you never bite me before, not even once. you are so gentle and sucha good girl, unlike marco and mico. they bully you all the time, especially pico! i never take much notice as i thought everything would be fine. never did i ever think that anything will happen to you. i regret it a lot, seriously. :( it's all my fault for thinking nothing will go wrong for putting the 3 of you together. :(

i never dream that you will be torn and bitten. you died in a painful way and i caouldn't get to sav you. :( sorry pico, i'm sorry. no one knows i miss you so much, even though you're just a little hamster. but no matter what, it's still a life.

whenever i'm at any pet shop, looking at the same species as you, it reminded of how marco and mico killed you. in fact, i killed you. :(

thousands of apologies won't get you back. i'll still be keeping marco and mico, even though they tore you up. i was so angry at them! but, i remembered how i carefully chose them among 10 over little hammies. since i chose them, i will take the responsibility to take care of them. i won't abandon them! though i had that thought for a moment. :x but i changed my mind! luckily i did. :D i'll love them like how i love you.

a few days ago, i thought i lost marco too, as he ran off from a paper box where i keep him temporary. i couldn't find him! but, in the end it's hiding inside my dad's sports shoe! haha, must be he love his home too much, don't wanna leave! :D i promise i'll keep him in place and never let him run away againnn. :)

rest in peace, parco.

this, is the one and only picture i took of you. you're eating your favourite sunflower seed with marco's butt beside you.(see that on the left?) haha. you'll always be remembered! you've been sucha good girl.

i miss you parco! <3

typical rantings, as usual.

2009-09-08T21:50:00.000+08:00

i need a new job badly, i can't stand this place anymore. i don't know why i always get a headache whenever i'm in this shop. cursed? maybe! :( my working days are like on and off now. 1 week perhaps 3 or 4 days only? like that earn what shit?! like hello, i gotta feed myself leh, i need to leave here alr. he said helped him out one more week and it's the 8th alr leh! what is this man?!

sigh, i kept feeling that he's very good to me and i should help him out since he still need me. BUT i'm feeling he's getting more and more prejudiced against me... i feel it's kind of unfair for me at times.

why must i always tally the cash even when i'm not working on the day itself?
don't you think it's a bit unfair for me here?
when i'm back from my off day, i need to clean the shit for the person the day before. no i'm not pin pointing my collegues here. but just feeling a bit... aiya don't know how to put it in words.

and why is it that, whenever i'm back i always see no small change inside the cashier? it's very fed up to see such things. VERY VERY FUCKED UP! :(

WHY IS IT ALWAYS I HAVE NO SALES WHEN IT'S MY TURN WORKING? WHY AM I SO BLOODY SUAY? I REALLY DID SERVE THE CUSTOMERS WHEN THEY COME IN. WTF I'M JUST SUAY LAH.

you're not me, you won't understand how it feels to get the suay-ness. :( ^%*&*(&^$#&

and everytime i see the dust in the shop, it just disgust me TOTALLY! i feel so dirty here. maybe it's the dust and the low lights here which always makes me feel a bit of headache. i'm really not suitable for this job. pls, let me go asap.

thought of working here temporary for a month but in the end i stayed for 3 months plus!!! sigh sigh sigh.

//

no mood for thailand trip already, it's my first overseas trip and i don't feel a bit excited for it at all. shit, when baobao sees this, my cousins are all gonna kill me. :(

it's on the 30th, 22 days away from today. don't wish to think of anything now, just wanna get a job asap. i'm very hardworking one as long as the environment doesn't give me any problem. :D

longing for a macbook and camera desperately. work work work i wanna work! :(

thanks god it's wednesday tomorrow. clubbing is my weekly dose. :)

before i end this, i wanna share a picture which i saw it at hjf's computer. his friend sent it to him some time ago when they went to sentosa...

i swear the photo is so, incredibly beautiful! the colours are so vibrant. very tempted to get a dslr but it looks too complicated to me. :( but still, i love the photos taken by the dslr!!! i looked through the folder for 3 times and still feel very... "wow, so beautiful leh the pictures..."

no wonder nowadays i see so many ppl carrying a dslr camera wherever they go. haha. and, for the first time, i think hjf looks good in photo leh! is it the camera? or he just somehow had a photogenic face that day? hahaha. :x

my pre bday celebration... <3

2009-09-08T17:31:00.001+08:00

was supposed to post this entry last night but blogger's pic uploader was down. so i decided to use photobucket and end up taking 57234858 years to load the photos. =.=

was at hjf's place ytd using his com and i found pictures of us a few months back! so i decided to blog about it. :D we were still not 'officially' together back then. but actually, i think my heart has already forgiven him a long time ago but my mind still couldn't. oh well, everything's fine now, shall not brood over the past. :)

gonna share the photos in my blog...

if anyone of you remembered, i posted photos of MYSELF only on facebook under the album my birthday and new hair. as we aren't officially tgt yet, i didn't post his pictures, it was still a secret in me. haha.

he's feeling very fed up during that time cos of his bad fringe and bad complexion. hahaha. but me don't care, still wanna post the photos. :x

it was a monday night, we get the priviledge to get on an empty capsule! yes just the two of us!!! it feels good as we jumped, we shouted, we stand on the seats, took 100 over photos inside.

a few photos on the street while walking towards the flyer...

and look at this,

it was a photo we took before entering the flyer. i didn't expect i look quite okay in the photo, so i decided to buy it! :x

as we entered inside the capsule, i was so excited and started taking photos NONSTOP!!!

you see you see...

and then he wanna stand on the seat and take photo too... but his pose not as nice as mine. wahahahaha. :D

and the camwhoring just continue for the next 30min ride. carzy eh? i think i only took a 3 min glimpse of the scenery. the rest are just camwhoring, camwhoring and more camwhoring...

can actually skip this cos this whole entry is full of my faces. :x

i had a bloody pimple under my nose that day too. so irritating! fuck that red dot!!! :( and and and i hate my face being so white when the flash light is on, making my neck, shoulder and hands look so black!!! urg!!

anyway, aftermath at popeye's for our dinner. the camwhoring just continue a little more...

yay happy belated 19th birthday to me! lols. :D

boohoo!!! going 20 next may! :(

goodbye sg flyer, see you again next time...

//

while i was typing this entry. something cross my mind... around tht period of time on my bday, i thought my heart went for someone else. i felt guilty towards him, don't know whether he knows i'm refering to him or whether he'll get to read this or not. i'm just, sorry. whether you did notice or not, i think i tried to make you know that i like you.

i'm sucha bitch, tried using one to forget the past. :( didn't mean to do that and he's a good friend of mine, for a couple of years. i've realized my mistake alr... we haven't talk to each other since many many weeks ago. i'm sorry. :(

//

afterall, i still think i looker better in short hair. haha! but i didn't regret getting the extensions cos... longer hair really makes one look slimmer a bit!!! it's true i swear, i can forsake anything to be thinner, even if it's only a bit. hahaha. :D

on a sidenote, i'm gonna update a more recent entry after this. come back tonight! :D

what the fish!!!

2009-09-06T13:12:00.000+08:00

i intended to blog at work today but i totally forgot to bring my phone's cable!!! $&*#(@!@^$# no pictures, no post. :(

nvm, i'll just write a bit here kay. :)

went to phuture on friday for the first time. it was... so damn squeezy. super super packed. should have expected this since it's sg's top club. hahaha. the music there is reall good, just that the only thing i don't like is that all the songs are cut to half like that. so it's like each song is maybe around 1 minute only.

so i think i still like powerhouse the most. :) next time's gonna be my turn to bring sf there. :D

//

easily pissed off for these 3 days, don't know why. is it pms? no? cos i think i just had mine 2 weeks ago leh. what is it what is it?! mmmmmm.

haha. i have no problem with people who have self confidence but what's with those people who are so full of confidence? so high up all the way to the sky! i'm serious. i don't know why i can't stand this kind of people, i hate it but i still choose to take notice of their talking and their behaviour, which makes me disguted even more - to the extreme.

i know i could have choose not to care about them but i can't help it. i'm such a physco! LOL. you know how ridiculous it is? it's like they'll think that all the guys/girls who walk past them will definitely take a look and SCAN their face cos they think the're oh-so-good-looking!!! they're always thinking, "wow that group of guys want my number, for sure!" they not only think inside their heart, they share it out loud. so thick skin. i don't know why so thick skin!

pls learn to be humble, everyone loves humble people. :)

i'm so random. i want pictures in my blog!!! :( am ending work around 6pm. don't know whether i should go home or ask hjf finish his work at the same time with me... but he's already so broke... don't think i should keep bothering him to keep me company. he needs to earn some income to support his bike... and not forgetting me also. :x

i'm just gonna end this post abruptly here. more to come when i've load pictures to the com. :)

rant rant rant!

2009-09-02T21:11:00.001+08:00

i bet everyone has seen the UGLY and FUNNY pictures i posted at fb! under the album name haha. really haha lor, i haha at every next picture i click. it contains super loads of memories!!! and you can see the transformation luh. i didn't know i'm so freaking fat last time. not that i'm very skinny now but skinnier than last time a bit. haha.

i still used to think that my size is quite okay in the past but now when i look back it is SO NOT okay. :\ since i've become slightly a bit skinnier, i hope it'll continue in the future! hope that i'll become 40kg when i turn 21 or something. :z

oh i heard laopo telling me that her friends are spreading around the pictures news, sharing around and laugh about it our looks in the past. HAHAHA, joke of the week. now YOU know why i didn't manage to attract hjf during secondary school? the pictures says it all! :D i'm not lying cos he DID admit he was attracted to me AFTER i cut my hair short. aye! how come i didn't know of that earlier!!! :x

nvm abou that, change topic!!!

uhm, i think i'm dislike-ing my work a little more each day. maybe i just ain't suitable to be a salesperson. i'm BAD at speaking and starting a conversation from the start. my character is just like that, i tried to be better for the past 1 whole year of doing retail but still, nothing changes? haha. guess i'm not aggressive enough to push sales, i'm unable to put in much effort to try to catch every customer that comes in. i'm not a smiley face. i can't do well, i can't prove to boss that i'm good, i'm not good enough to make him just sit there and watch me do sales. basically i just can't do sales - for clothings. :) mabe i can do better for cosmetics cos m passion for that is much much more than clothings! haha. lastly, i think boss didn't notice that but i did feel he's showing favouritism, no? haha. god kows. :)

i'm interested working at it show though. there' one coming up real soon, wish i had the chance to try that, must be really exhausting! i WANNA be exhausted from the hard work i do, i don't wanna be exhausted from sitting all day doing nothing. it's pointless... hmm but i think it's too late alr cos the it fair's coming at 10th this month! :( next time maybe... once this it fair is finished and i don't see the rumoured lx4 coming, i'm totall gonna forget about it and get that decent lx3 instead! been waiting for fuck long alr! MAD! :(

shit, i haven't do my make up et, clubbing at ph later! i missed it last week cos of my stupid cough and i'm not gonna miss it this time, tonight. :) laopo, let's rock tgt tonight!!! DANCING IS MY MEDICINE!!! LOLS. :D

feels so good, i got off day for tmr, and over the weekend! happ or not?! I AM! just a to do list for tmr to remind mself...

1)pay fuck phone bills and get data plan!
2)do more hair extentions, not thick enough!
3)get my ass to orchard ion again cos i finally find out where sephora is located!
4)return the money i owed pandora's box!
5)get new brushes and eyeliners, need to tr new makeup!
6)if theres extra time, go get my mp3 usb at jurong. for god's sake, it's been a ear alr!!!

yea yea that's all! hope everything can be done tmr! if not, to be continued on another day. :(

me will update moreee but i quit this job! :D

it's real.

2009-09-02T15:57:00.004+08:00

sometimes it's good to be sick. heh. cos you get to whine and whine, get any food you want. and bcos you're weak and sick, you get treated extra nice! -- like a little princess. :D

you know? like he kept patting on my back gently everytime i cough, asking whether i'm okay and whether i had my medicine during morning/night/just now? lols, he's as naggy as an auntie! can't see from his look right? i thought so too but he's really super naggy, can be my grandmother alr. :D

it's sweet to hear his remindings all the time, "rmb to take your medicine." "rmb to take every 4 hours." "rmb this." "rmb that." whereas he forget his own stuffs, which shows that he puts me first before everything! i'm definitely the most important thing in his heart, yesssss onlyyyyyy meeeeeeeeeee!!!! ^^

so you can see the way he feed me with medicine!

watching tv while opening the cover...

i just love looking at hjf's back. when he turns around and face me, it's errrrr, back view nicer luh. LOL! cos until now, i still can't believe my longest secret(well not so secret cos most ppl can feel lor :() secondary school crush i had is MINE! haha, until now i still can differentiate the feeling between now and then. it's totally different, like 2 really different person...

i'm like a stalker of hjf in the past during sec 4, grabbing every chance to steal a glance at him in class, viewing his friendster profile all the time awaiting for new updates or photos so i can save his pictures in my computer. LOL, like sicko right? haha, i guess all girls go crazy with their crush when we're all young. :x i added him on friendster and msn a few days after he came into our class at sec4. i tried msn-ing him and we did chat a hell lot online. but in school he's like a total stranger cos he didn't look even ONCE into my eye. :( cheat my feelings!!!

and after a year or so, i told myself not to go ga ga over him anymore cos it's been such a long time already! he'll definitely have some response if he have some special feelibngs for me. hmmmm. i cut lesser on the views on his friendster and chats on msn. but still can't help looking at him in class. #&@*(!^$ i think i got under his spell or something during that period! hahaha, after o levels i'm so glad that i don't have to see him anymore, so i'll stop thinking and liking him. in the end, he came wooing me!!! LOLS, then we ended up tgt... i'll share the story in the future yea. it feels great to share this, cos i think it's so classic and funny!

eh hjf, you better be careful cos i'm gonna spill out all your dirty little secrets in the past!!! :x

alright alright, back to the photo topic, i ran out of point so far away!!! HAHA!

okay where was i? hmmmmmmm oh i love looking at his back! haha.

then you see, his face. still can't believe he's really my boyfriend. sry ah gotta repeat this cos i still feel he's a different person compared to the one who was in the same class as me. hahaha.

slowly, carefully, aim properly... don't drip on the floor...

look serious right? he's so concentrating on it that i HAVE to take a picture of it cos i won't know when's the next time he's gonna do this again. :D

"come open your mouth baby! follow me and open your mouth like this... AHHHHH..... be a good girl and take your medicine so you can get well asap..."

lols. cute? i do think so! :D but i haven't been lisening to him, taking my medicine regularly that's why i'm still sick now... for going 2 weeks?

but i'm really feeling better today! not much coughing already. really! for the sake of powerhouse tonight, i will get better. heh. :D

//

sorry to always bully you but not letting you bully me but i'm loving it, so don't change it. :x
no one would ever give in to me the way you do.
no one would ever let me pinch and tickle all over willingly and tolerate my nonsense.
no one would ever let me take unglam pictures and post it online the way you will let me.
no one would ever piggyback me back home as much as i want to, anytime.
no one would ever change for me like the way you do.
no one would ever say no or reject to any of my stupid requests like you do.
no one would ever love everything about me like you do.
no one would ever love my naked face w/o make up like you do.
no one would ever cry for me like the way you do.
no one would ever promise me, that my bf must live longer than me. cos i don't want to be the one crying.
no one would ever wake up in the middle of the night just to cook tomyam maggi mee for the hungry-then-can't-get-to-sleep me.
no one would ever wake up in the middle of the night and ride his bike all the way from eunos to st james power station just to fetch me home from clubbing.
no one would ever be so honest like you do.
no one would ever never fail to give me a "i love you, muacks!" every night before i sleep.
no one would ever give me morning calls all the the without fail like you do.
no one would ever be so patient with such a stubborn person like me.
no one would ever help me buy whisper sanitary pads from the supermarket when i forget to bring mine.
no one would ever serve customers for me when i should be the one doing that. (sry, sometimes a bit lazy :()
no one would ever let me make fun and hit him whenever i like.
no one would ever be as sweet as you.

there's so so so much "no one would ever" to write about you which i think i can never finish all.

you & me! <3 but i ate both. :x

here's another soft toy he caught for me a couple of weeks ago, didn't have the chance to post this picture. haha. now i have 3 from him! the first one was way long ago! it's a cj7 he caught by chance last year. and hjf promised me he'll save extra $20 for 14th of every month. he'll catch one for me for each month and he himself said that he still owe me 15 little soft toys. er uhm, plus this month 16 already ah! you promise me on your own accord, i didn't suggest that. so you must fulfil it!!! :P

loves. many hugs and kisses. :)

drama ma ma ma ma

2009-08-30T15:09:00.001+08:00

stupid! i was trying to upload the rest of the pics to fb but it just kept failing!!! pissed off and gave up. :(

my hammie died on friday morning. or is it thursday night i'm not sure cos i saw it dead on friday morning when i went off for work.. :( didn't tweet or blog about it cos i was feeling damn damn scared, i didn't know what to do, tried very very hard not to think or talk about it cos i can feel i'm slightly shivering when i think of how it looked like.

as usual before i went out, i check them out every morning. only saw 2, but cldn't find the 3rd one. to my fucking horror, i saw it lying on its back DEAD. i only took one glance and that's it. i don't dare to take a second look again.

it is fucking gross i tell you. i think the hammies got into some fight or something. but i think most probably the other 2 killed and eat it. it's like, alr turn into brown. the body is flat and i presume its stomach, lungs and intestines were all being ate. it died a terrible death. :( it's the one i love most, i felt really bad for it. it must be squeaking for help but i didn't know at all. WTFWTFWTF! i still can't accept the fact that it is gone just like this. :((((

the other 2 hammies are kinda seriously injured as well. the fur is ripped off and their stomach is full of dried up blood. EWWWWWWWW.

luckily, hjf was there to help me clear parco's dead body. i got a feeling that the other two might not be able to live long cos of their injuries. but i'm still keeping them. though they became fiercer and uglier! i shall try and see whether they'll still live. hopefully! god bless pls!!! :(

AND YO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED YTD?! i ALMOST lost my ring. yes yes yes, ALMOST OKAY!!! scare me to death luhzxzxzxzxzx. :(

cos of my stupid hair extentions luh! oh, do you know i've had extentions?? i think you don't right? only some friends saw it. haha, ya ya i know my butt itchy, hair so short still go and put hair extentions. :x just wanna try ma. i need to put another layer next week, cos it's too thin luh. hahaha. i'll post pictures of my new hair! but i think i look older and weird. nvm, maybe i'm still not used to it yet.

my head felt heavier, even much heavier when it's being washed! now i need time to prepare when going out. need time to wash gently, slowly scrub into my scalp, slowly blow dry. i think that add up 20 more minutes to my preparing time? shit luh! i still thought of getting straightener and curler. LOL. :x okay i think i side track too much. back to the ring!

hmm, as i was saying, i FREAKING almost lost my ring. :\ cos i was trying to tie my hair so i took out my ring and place it on one of the arcade table. and stupid forgetful me forget to wear it back. and it was quite long until i realized it! we left arcade, walk towards bugis street, went up level 2, walked a few rounds, went to iluma, went up to arcade, sat at an area and start to slack a bit. AND THEN I REALIZED it's not on my finger. :( not my fault okay!!! cos it feels really light and i don't feel a thing until i didn't see it on my finger. :\ okay luh, my fault to be forgetful.

you know you know, i ran ALL THE WAY from iluma to bugis junction arcade. i was crying while running, so fuck panic and i don't know what i was doing. called hjf, cried and cried like an idiot. lols, hung up and saw my cousin and i CRIED again. LOL. come to think about it, i must be looking damn retard and funny. HAHAHA.

anyway, thanks to li an cos he found it for me! yay. :D but he so childish lor, still wanna lie to me that he actually found it but made a mistake that he saw wrongly. which made me cried again. zzz!! #&*!&$#*(@

me is running tap water. lols. can't help it also. :( at that point of time, really feel like pulling out all my hair. :x

anyhow, a few pictures from ytd!

me still not used to my long hair you see. can't seem to get the right angle. hmmmmm...

and then try to act chio with my new long hair...

at home(don't mind the ugly background)

outside... but i think i failed. HAHA!!! :D

at workplace's fitting room. oh i dono why i tried so hard to open my eyes big. zzz.

plus! 2 pics with my short hair...

i think my face look fatter with the hair extentions, look older also. omgosh! nvm, it'll be over after 6 months. no, i didn't regret! haha. :)

and here's one pic of me and laopo. taken while her webcam is on. i never know webcamming could be so fun! lols! i wanna too! getting a laptop sooner or later. but still not sure which to go for. macbook? asus? vaio? hmmmm. i just want something light and user friendly, with a nice design too! ^^

okay, gtg get my late lunch alr. :( might blog again later. ciao!

HAVING FUN! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

2009-08-29T15:56:00.002+08:00

lols, while waiting for time to past, i upload even more photos a fb! so fucking funny luh the old photos!!!

LOL, having so much fun with myself here. :x omgosh, i'm so freaking childish! BUT I LIKE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!

oh btw i just post my blog link on fb! so if you found me from there, HELLO! LOLS! i think i'm going crazy, don't care about me. muahahahahaha. gonna meet laopo alr, BYEBYEBYE!!!

neh neh nee boo boo

2009-08-26T16:35:00.001+08:00

i remembered i had a private blog over at wordpress a year ago! lols. which was kind of dumb luh, i think i didn't reveal the url, did i? oh even if i reveal it's also pointless since all posts are locked? o.o i created blogs here and there trying all of them but i still think i feel most comfortable with blogger? but the only thing it can't do is set selected posts to private/pw protected. hmm, maybe someday i'll move over to wordpress? haha. :D

my cough is getting from bad to worse, i feel i can cough out my lungs alr lor, so uncomfortable! the feeling sucks and my eys feel like closing. hate falling sick! cos i take a looooooooong time to recover. no, i don't take medicine! hate that the most! that explains the speed of my recovery. :(

having an interview over at hula& co tmr. i know, sales job again right? but i just need to work like now, for the time being. after that i'll start to pursue my dreams to be a _____ or ____ ______ or ___ __________! it's my secret! don't tell youuuuuu! :x

btw i just youtubed singapre idol's auditions and i'm so infactuated by their voice. BEAUTIFUL! love the females this year they're all so good! omg, i really take my hat off to them. like how can they take the stress and tolerate the scoldings and all? if it were me, i'd have cry and cry and cry. yea, i'm just weak like this, cries easily. :(

but i do wanna try too eh! but currently no contests being held yet. hahaha. it'd be fun to learn something new and gain some different experience in life? maybe use this chance to get rid of my stage fright as well! :D when there's any upcoming competition tell me okay?!?!?!?! :D

oh gosh, i still can't stop coughing, think i'm gonna die. lols. somebody! anybody! show some care okay?!?!?!

i'm just gonna end my post here aruptly again as usual. ciao.

lost my blogging bug.

2009-08-24T21:12:00.000+08:00

like recently? haha. cos i felt i have the limits what can be and cannot be blogged about, that explains why. as in like, i feel kind of restricted. be it happy or sad, i gotta be careful about what i write.

hate to be questioned about this and that. hate that i hurt people's feelings at times. i don't mean too, you have to know that alright?

shag luh. moreover, i typed an entry ytd and it fucked up. don't wish to write another one cos i'm lazy to. super pissed off when things like that happen. like it's made by my effort and gone just like that. HATE IT!

at times i dislike my family's upbringing. why does my friends' or ppl i know have such a happy family? except mine? they're like so close to each other and can speak their mind out to their siblings.

what about mine? all they know is scold and scold. i DO have a mind of my own too! i'm already 19 years old this year, and going T W E N T Y next year! can't you guys let me be more independent? like fuck. the little things i do didn't contribute to the family?

only i bother to get shower foam, shampoo, toothpaste and all other shits. you think i wanna treat my home as a hotel meh? hello? i'm earning myslef a living, MIND YOU! i'm doing LONG hours leh. you think i want this meh?

sorry, oh i'm very sorry. i'm not smart. i only get a o level cert, i'm not capable of getting a diploma that's why i can't get a DECENT job. yada yada. i'm useless, i know. need not you to repeat that. just fuck off my sight.

moodless.

tattoos &piercings

2009-08-20T19:45:00.002+08:00

i had interest in piercings since i was ard sec 1 or 2? i love to pierce my ears so much that i alr lost count of how many times i actually pierce AND re-pierce them. :\

i had like a total of 10 holes on my pair of ears?!

O M G.

and i won't fail to go back to the same place to get my piercing done which is at parkway. :D but now im only left with 5. doesn't really show cos i just wear those transparent earsticks. i love those kind of diabond bling blings but it hurts my ears so much when i'm sleeping. no choice luh, the lazy me doesn't want to bother to change it all the time. hah.

had a nval piercing when i was 17? but no more alr cos the stud dropped off when i was bathing. tried my VERY best to put it back but failed to. :( i wanna pierce it again i don't careee! but wait till i'm slimmer! oh, and recently a tongue piercing which i got ard last year end. it was a last minute decision and in my whole life i have NEVER thought of getting a tongue piercing. well, didn't know what i was thinking then. who cares? i didn't regret! and i'm loving it! ^^

thought of piercing my left brow as i won't turn out so obvious since my fringe will be covering my left side of the face more. :D the only thing is that i'm worried it'll get infection and leave an ugly scar behind. that's a big NO NO! complexion's as important as my life, cannot have any scars on it!! ^$@#*(#& bimbotic me i know. :(

should i? should i not? i'm quite into piercings and tattoos as i think it's very unique and it brings out another personality of a person, no? i think so leh!!

i want a tattoo too~ on my ankle/hips/back of shoulders/back of neck/ inside of wrist. still thinking but don't know!!! *think & think & think reallllllllll hard*

//

i wanna be 40kg. i'm not kidding lor! it's gonna be hard to hit that weight cos of my big bones. stupid fats on my tummy and butt and arms can go away or not? ^#&&#@()! i have fat face(not very, but still kind of lor),elephant legs, humongous tummy, flabby arms and the most i hate... F-ING BIG HIPS!

at times i really feel like going for sugery and make my hips smaller, like remove a part of the bones away. :( all the girls i see on streets can wear those tight fit tank tops and tight fitting tube tops, unlike me. cannot carry out those kind of clothings cos of my SHORT AND BIG wasit. i really wanna be 40. i wanna be small and tiny. oh who doesn't want? like asking the stupidest qn on earth. duh. sianzxzxzxzxzxzxz.

i wanna go jogging but i think i'll get a heart attack after a mere 5 minutes cos my stamina sucks like hell. and i don't want get ugly muscles, i only wanna be thin and small. hah. how how how? somemore later i cut fats alr boobs become smaller also. CANNOT luh, cos alr like so small. any more smaller will become concave. :(

it's either i grow taller to 170cm or become thinner to 40kg. period.

UPDATE!

forget to point out that i have a thing for guys who have huge tattoos and many piercings! don't ask! cos i myself don't know why either! lols! not those kind of ah beng/gangster kinds but those which you can see that that they're into body art, NOT little ah bengs. hahahaha. those with tattooed arms and legs, will definitely get my attention. don't know why lehzxzxzxz. don't misunderstood! i'm not checking other boys out just... don't know how to say lah!

but no no for hjf cos me don't like him with tattoos and body piercings. but he did mention he's gonna get one on his arm, like a huge one. :

i'm still alive blogging, just need a damn cam!

2009-08-19T18:01:00.002+08:00

emo this few days, so much things i feel and wanna talk about. but sometimes, somethings are better left unsaid, i guess i can't just blabber everything single thing in my life here yea? haha.

bee's(not my bf) been feeling unwell recently. sighs. i could predict this would happen when i first got him. every single living thing would definitely get weaker as time goes by. body system will start to go wrong...

he doesn't eat nowadays. he shitted and pee-ed with blood which is fucking disgusting and it aches to see him walking weakly towards me to welcome me back when i got home. it would still come and lick my feet as usual, just a tad slower? haha. i know he still loves me the most. :)

it's been, 9 years alr? haha, hope he's fine. yea sure he'll be.

oh well, a visit to the vet's gonna cost a BOMB to my pocket. i can't leave him to be sick like this, can i? sadly, i have to cancel off my overseas trip to taiwan & hongkong. :( damn saddening lah! just have to cancel off like this. i can only blame myself for not saving money, only having just the right amount each month. blah, kill myself. can't afford to go anymore... to think that i've been looking SO forward to it. feel like crying alrrrr. money drop from the sky can or not? :(

//

i know i've been complaining for the 23572758349th time that i want a camera. lols. ppl who read this must be getting tired of my camera-complaints. hahaha. don't care lah. how long must i wait? sept seems so far away from today. is there really a lx4 coming out? i hope that dude isn't pulling my leg. argh.

everytime i see other blogs with so beautiful pictures, i feel so jealous! the colours are so vibrant somemore! mad mad mad jealouszxzxzxzxz. i swear i'm gonna post 100 pictures when i get it. HUMPH!

gone.

everything's fantabulous. :D

2009-08-17T19:57:00.000+08:00

wa, my blog got average 5 readers everyday leh. who go refresh ah? hahaha. :D i know 5 is nothing but it is something to me cos i didn't tell any friends about my blog url. hmmm.

been busy for this 2 days! cos i modelled for a hair show, it was a great experience. i totally enjoyed this 2 days knowing new people and learning new stuffs though i was really tired and it took up my precious off days!

i took half day specially for it and now i'm at work, i keep telling myself not to fell asleep on roads but i still did just now during highway. really can't help it, i was too tired. :( i think one day i'll just fall luh. i'm scared lor!!! SCARED ah, someone faster go get a car better cos not so dangerous. HAHAHA. :x

and so, i cut and dyed my hair again, sorry my darling hair on my cute head! i'll bring you for a treatment after a couple of months, don't die on me again like the other time!(when i bleached it.) boohoo!! :(

hate the makeup they did, super super fugly. like some wayang or ghost can? the eyeshadow so high up to the brows and the liner on the bottom so thick for what? gothic?! worse than avril lavgine i tell you. i'm serious lor! so irritating, make me don't really dare to face people with that face.

when everything ended, i thought i could clean off the hideous eye makeup but NO! the mua(makeup artists) left already! mad mad mad! how could i go to work like that? i have to go home and redo my makeup AND THEN go to town for work. so damn mafan, waste of time!

somemore the choreographers sucks like shit a lot. don't like them don't like them! so full of themselves, sickening ppl!

but overall, minus off the complaints and unhappiness i kept in myself. i love the people there! Especially Lance, he's a super nice man. and because of him and the 2 other young ladies i met there, i like caucasians now even more! love looking at them! their stunning coloured eyes, borned with nice brows, sharp nose, wide beautiful smile, straight teeth, great skin, the way they speak english, the way they carry themselves...

don't you think it's so unfair? caucasians have curled long thick eyelashes, a wide range of different colours of eyes, sharp nose whereas asians have straight short thin boring eyelashes, black(or brown) boring looking eyeballs, small or flat or big nose(seldom have nice sharp ones like caucasians have)...

i myself always think that i must have foundation, draw eyebrows, eyeliner, apply falsies and mascara, put on contact lens then i'll be able to look presentable lor...

NOT FAIR! lols, i should quit complaining cos i can never be them. hmmm, nvm i'll just continue admiring whenever i see one. :D I LOVE CAUCASIANS! YAY!

hmm, i don't know how to explain it, i just love them! haha, they inspired me to speak more and better english. :D

//

after rehersal ytd, i went for a quick shopping at my all time favourite store @ watsons! i was so excited bcos i can finally flash out my watsons member card! wee! ^^

i'm a good girl bcos i only buy things that are on discount or on members' discount only. so elated to see tags with MEMBERS' DISCOUNT ONLY. :D

i bought watson's house brand sanitary pads, mineral powder foundation, toothpaste and my fave HALLS candy! :D all on discount! me so happy when i see discounts. haha. initially, i wanted to get dr jart's bb cream and olays liquid foundation but i thoguth i was getting way TOO many foundations in a go, so i left them back.

i've been seeing many advertorials raving about how incredible dr jart's black label bb cream is, i wanted to try it since sometime ago and it is selling at a cheaper price compared to those elling online! i was excited when i first saw it, so i MUST get it next time! :D

for the olay foundation, hmm... it's on sale and ricebunny mentioned on her videos before that cosmetics and skincares on sale are mostly all garbages. :x so i just gave it up easily. another reason is bcos i don't think i need to use anti-aging now? like maybe 3 years later would be better i guess. haha. :)

in any case, i'm just happy! so be a happy and easily satisfied person like meee! wahahahahaha. :DDD

//

i'm sorry i made you feel like you have no place in my heart. you're right, sometimes i 'm too used to it, till i just take things for granted. i said that "i'll help you top up" doesn't mean i'm being sacarstic, i just feel that you already don't have enough to spend on your self, you still need to pay for your bike's erp, fuel, monthly instalements. i just wanted to help and want you to share the burden with me. i said it in a rude way(plus other times) cos i was feeling frustrated, anxious being late alr and not being able to catch a quick breakfast. you know how hungry i was this morning? i didn't have any bite until afternoon, which when the first show ends. the ppl there are so irresponsible, they disallow me to go and get my breakfast and promise to buy for me, but no. they did not get it and DON'T even bother to let me know. i knew it myself cos i heard them talking about it. i didn't tell you cos i'm afraid i cldn control my rage towards them. i do feel bad when you come and go so many times and had to waste your cash card's balance. that's why i wanted to help you top up, but i think you thought i was being sacarstic. i guess we really can't communicate after so long. it's not your fault, it's mine. i can't communicate even with the closest ppl in my life. all i know is just typing and not speaking out. just let me be and don't ask anything already. i'm sorry, i love you, really.

random stuffs...

2009-08-15T17:10:00.000+08:00

yesterday...

went to apple's and tried getting hjf's itouch fixed. guess what? he's getting new replacement for FREE.

maybe apple is too generous or rich lor, cos they didn't even bother to check in detail what actually caused the itouch to be spoilt.

i think i wanna get some apple products in the future cos even if i drop it or spoil it on my own, they'll still get me a new replacement. muahahahaha. :D

okay, i've decided that if i wanna get a lappie, i'm getting a macbook! cos it's beautifully in white. ^^

//

finally being told that my last day's on the end of this month. yes yes yesss! approximately 2 more weeks to eom leh! i can finally get away from this workplace... hmm, not that i don't like the boss or what. but just the PLACE. if i continue staying here, i guess i'll be suffocated with all the dirty dust here. it is filled with A LOT of dust here i tell you.

if you were to work at cineleisure(level 2), DON'T ever! cos there's so much dust! maybe you can't see it from other shops cos it's very bright but it's just there okay! my shop here is very dark therefore i can see it very clearly in here lor. SO DIRTY and unhealthy can?!

and it's too dark over here, it's affecting my vision lor! hate it hate it hate it! :(

oh, on a happier note, i'm gonna book the air tickets to taiwan with baobao soon too! and we're flying on end of oct! omgosh, can't wait for my virgin overseas trip!!! :D i NEED to bring $1k over! madness right? but i don't care!!!

//

i predict today is a bad sales day again, hate this kind of feeling when there's no sales. most worried during the end of the day when i need to msg him the sales everyday. it feels like, you need to pass up your final work to the teacher. aiya, don't know how to say lah. you get it can already. don't get it then nvm lor. :)

i find out that i'm always talking about random stuffs, like jumping from this to that. super no link one. the only i wish for my blog is that it can contain more pictures leh.

cos the tempt ihere again, should i just buy the cam and not wait anymore? i'm super anticipated leh. my bro have 2 cameras. dslr and digital. so greedy right?

i can actually take his digital camera and use it but i choose not to. cos i tried the camera before and no matter how many times and different angles i try to take, it's still NOT nice lor. yes, i mean me don't look nice at all. don't like it!

that's why i gotta get one for myself, own use only. ^^ how how? think think think~

UP 3D!!!

2009-08-11T17:35:00.004+08:00

i watched UP in 3D with hjf last saturday and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. it brought tears and i was so touched by the movie.

although at some point it's kind of stupid, like how can the balloon not burst during the storm? so ridiculous lor! but i still love the overall feel it gave me.

i didn't know we need to pay like double for 3D movies. okay i'm a noob cos it was my first time watching it.

double the normal price! quite expensive for me, but i like it! can we watch another 3D movie? i wanna watch that guinea pig movie coming in sept, pls bring me go watchhhhhhhhhh! :D

i don't really like that google like specs. i think mine was worn by some guy or uncle? cos it feels oily at some areas lor. EWWW! paid $13 for such rubbish "specs"? :(

PICTURES! (again... yea.)

hjf was having bad eye day, poor him! still got a big red zit sitting on his left cheek. he kept complaining how that small little zit destroyed the whole picture. HAHAHA!

he's so funny in a way that everytime i would like to poke his pimple and he will go,"OIE! don't touch it! it's gonna burst! it'll soon recover within a few days!!!"

SO FUNNY! you should really see how the way he exclaims, showing a vain side of him, which no one might have seen it except MEEEEEEEEE~!

okay, stop the crazyness. i'm off to do my work. like finally?!?!?! :D

separate post.

2009-08-11T17:31:00.000+08:00

no meaning eh? but i just feel like posting another one cos i feel my blog is too empty! lols. :D

so wanna post this picture since last week.

i know i look like crap but MY LAOPO LOOKS SO PRETTY! so must post it and show off a bit. :D

saw this kitten at my house downstairs, she is awfully cute! but too bad i can't keep her, cos i'm sure ah bee(my dog) would eat her up.

cute? i saw her for straight 3 or 4 times every night. but i haven't seen it anywhere now. i guess someone must have adopted her? hope that someone will take good care of that lovely kitten. :)

another picture of me and the kitty. baobao says that the pictire looks so motherly love towards its child. LOL.

anyhow, this is me at the salon during the dyeing process.

like a taitai? HAHA. i wished! :P

the result...

hjf says the colour quite suits me cos bright colours suits ppl who looks AH LIAN. ==

somemore pictures...

this were taken ard last week i think? we went for pp's sakae sushi finally! we've been wanting to dine there but always no time!

among all the sakae sushi outlets in sg, i don't wanna go to any other outlet cos i trust only parkway's outlet! :x

love my bare eyes. wahahahaha. xy said before it look like puppy's eyes. really? :D

that's all!!!

no title.

2009-08-11T16:12:00.000+08:00

facebook and blogger is driving me CRAZY!

why is it so lag like a snail? does the problem lies with the computer connection here or is it just BLOGGER and FACEBOOK?

someone! fix the problem up?!?!?! :(

whatever it is, i just wanna blog about random stuffs that happened recently.

firstly, I MADE A BLOODY MISTAKE. i thought my off days are tuesday(today) and wednesday. i was sleeping peacefully and suddenly my boss called,

boss: cuiping ah? you know you got work today?
me: (with a deep voice) huh? today? i off today and tmr what?
boss: no no, you're working today.
me: but you said i'm off on tues and wed?
boss: yes i said you WORK on tues and wed, not OFF on tues and wed.
me: oh oh ok, i'll come over right now...

BLUR OR SOTONG?

disappointing! i've alr decided how to spend my tuesday and wednesday alr leh. not it has to be pushed to thursday! :(

but luckily, hjf was there to fetch me to work, if not i'll be so so so late! knowing that i have been rushing to get prepared and didn't hav the chance to lunch, he cooked my favourite tomyum maggi meeeeeeeeeee! :D

yes, i'm sure he's the one who cooked it. cos if it were his maid, the noodle would have taste nicer! :x hahahaha, thanks lah. i know you love me! :D

anyway, ytd was a mini bday celebration for our dear weilong. 4 cousins and 1 outsider(hjf)! hahaha! :D

we wanted to make a surprise for long, but he suspected us a little long ago! but still, he still got a shocked when the waitress brought his birthday cake out.

PICTURES!

HAPPY BDAY LONG, WE LOVE YOUUUU! :D

it's been a while!

2009-08-09T16:30:00.000+08:00

bcos bcos bcos i've got like 3 straight off days!!! thurs, friday and saturday! :D

mad happy cos i finally have enough rest and get to spend some quality time at home. ^^ let me tell you, i HAVE so many things to write about here. so, you can actually just ignore this post filled with big chunk of words as there'll be no pictures posted. blogger is still not working after a hundred years! BAH!

regarding my complaints, thoughts, sharing... :)

1)CLUBBING

i think powerhouse is the typical frequent club that i always go. main reasons are bcos:

-there's this podium which is allowed for LADIES only.
-good music
-HUGE dancefloor(well, at least to me)
-PH serves my FAVOURITE heaven & earth GREEN TEA!

lols, i've been clubbing too much for the past 3 weeks? too much kills bcos the last time i club on wednesday, i could feel my legs go WEAK even before 4am cos i'm usually energetic throughout the whole night.

gosh i feel damn tired that night, can really die. it caused me to skip work on the following day as i'm having HELL muscle ache, feels sour on my damn whole body.

i don't mind being on the dancefloor even though i would STRONGLY prefer to be on the ladies podium. BUT, i can't stand the people down there.

what's with the loud singing, grinding, pushing, sweating, vomitting?!

i can't stand it! i didn't say you can't sing(actually they're just screaming away with the music, totally destroy the whole thing) but must you sing(scream) into random people's ears? that's really irritating!!! there's even this uncle in his late 30s i think, screaming his lungs out like, "OWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" feel like giving them one tight slap in the face. ==

okay, i know grinding is a very common thing in clubs but i just hate it. i reckon this kind of thing would ever happen on ladies podium cos there won't be any guys up there. it DISGUST me totally, i mean seriously! :(

i HATE HATE HATE the most when it's full house, cos the people on the dancefloor would just use their fucking dirty hands to push you out of their way, like they are the queens? the ones i met mostly are LADIES! so arrogant luh.

and more people means lesser space to dance and breathe. EQUALS to everyone starts to SWEAT! ewwwwww, i hate this the most! sticky and smelly! why the fuck must i be bury in all this smelly and sticky shitszxzxzxzxzxz?! some got serious BAD BREATH too, like omgosh, can faint! ==

baobao kept advising me not to club too much as people would start to label me as,"oh, cp? that girl who ALWAYS appear at powerhouse ah?" haha, but i wanna go phuture though, haven't been there yet. okay i know i'm a slowpoke. :(

2)RIDING

riding what? a BIKE! yes yes, hjf let me try on his bike for fun on thursday night at a quiet carpark. quite late alr, not much cars. that's why i would dare to try it.

i feel proud of myself! i can kick start the bike, ride a short distance, even with hjf behind me. i know how to change to gear 2 too! lols.

but the main thing is, i had a minor accident. just a minor only. i ALOMST crash into someone's car. yea, like ALMOST! a few cm away only i guess? cos i was turning the direction and there's this car which is trying to park nice nice, i wanted to stop but hjf just said,"nvm! just ride pass it only, just go, it's okay one. don't worry."

as i don't know how to use my body to turn the vehicle to another direction, i ALOMST go straight and nearly bang onto the side of the car. i was SO nervous and scared that i braked so hard out of a sudden.

the vehicle sorta like jerked really hard and i fell with the bike. :( but hjf was quick enough to jump out of the bike so he's fine. i was in a state of shock but luckily i didn't hit the car. LUCKILY!!!

and still in a shock state me, still continue to ride the bike back to the original place.

overall it's quite fun, but i'll just stick to car if i'm gonna get a drving licence cos bike is really really dangerous.

i'm fine, just a few scratched and a big blue black on my inner big thigh. UGLY! :(

3)SHOPPING

i seem to lost interest in shopping recently. i think there's season? maybe this season i don;t feel like shopping at all. but i bought quite a number of stuffs though.

i don't know how many cosmetics and skincares must i buy until it can all satisfy me.

for example, i only have one face but i have more than 5 bottles of bb cream? like that's so INSANE! i've left onlly *** for my savings so i MUST stop alr luh, first week of august just passed and i'm spending like this. how to survive till end of month? :(

4)BRAS AND BIKINI

i NEED to complain about this.

WHY WHY WHY? the tube bras that i LOVE so much are all sold out and all left like freaking ONE piece? i hate to take last piece items ESPECIALLY when it's something i'm gonna wear so close to my skin.

i know i can wear it after i wash but i feel very sensitive about this. :(

i first saw it at malaysia's young hearts and minoshe. right after i'm back to sg, even the outlet at sg is also left ONE piece? :(((

sighs, guess i have no fate with it.

on a happier note, i bought for myself a BIKINI. hahaha! i know it's not something worth talking about but it's my first time buying one for myself and AM gonna wear it to beach.

i'm not a very outdoor person but i just wanna show off my NEW bikini! muahahahahahaha.

p.s i wanted to get the white one but got the black one in the end. i'll definitely get the white one next time! :D

5)NEW HAIR(AGAIN AS USUAL EVERY 2 MONTHS)

trimmed + dyed my hair on friday! now it's so reddish orange/orangey red! idk luh but will post up pictures soon. :D

had a scanning for our scalp and mine is more to a healthy scalp! happy me! :D but tend to have minor hair loss though. :\

argh, i regret not washing my hair for the 3rd day! now i feel kinda sticky and dirty on my head. looks oily too. EWWW!

6)WORK

i'm thankful that i've 3 more weeks to go! and boss is training some new stuffs so which means i don't have to work so much per week. but lesser pay of course... hmmm, but i don't mind actually! love to have extra time for myself. :D

but on the other hand, i'm being stressed by boss that i need to hit the sales target. what can i say? just try my best, even though i'm leaving this place alr.

plans after i've quit? hope hjf can yang me. LOL, just kidding luh. hjf don't stunned okay? :D i not that kind of useless bum who doesn't work.

need to think. think of how to get into THAT job, heard that i need to know the people there so they could bring me in. hard luh, my social circle damn small, like an ant. blame myself for being such an introvert since young. :(

7)MY PETS

i'e got THREE hammies now. i'm glad that the three of em are getting along quite well now. at least they don't eat each other. 3 different colours and total different personalities! i know hamsters have no personalities, i just meant that they have different habits.

like, one likes to sleep, one likes to eat, one is super active! hahaha. their names are marco, parco, mico! weird names, i know. i'm not sure of their genders, i just anyhow gave them the names. all end with a CO! i like. :D

8)PERFUMES

if you've been following my twitter, you should know that i'm into perfumes recently! especially those sweet smelling ones! :D

i just bought one from boss's aunty the annasui's live your dream, i ordered diamond dazzle from pandora's box and think i'm getting majorlica's perfume balm! and guess what? i've clinique happy, guess in pink and another pink bottle from sasa which laopo gave me at home.

so in total, i'm gonna own 6 different sweet smells?! LOL, okay i know!

monday: clinique happy
tuesday: sasa perfume
wednesday: diamond dazzle
thursday: guess
friday: MJ balm
saturday: anna sui
sunday: unknown yet, wait till i buy one more? LOL.

me is happy cos i get to smell like a sweet everyday. :DDD

9)SAVINGS

*slaps head* i've been having fun for the past few days yet i forgot about creating a new bank account for my savings? someone, slap me on my cheeks. T_T

TEY CUI PING PLS PLS PLS RMB, THIS IS OMG SO IMPORTANT, MUST BE DONE LUH.

10)APPEAL, FINES

hjf got a fine and i appealed for him. just checked email, no news yet. don't know can be accepted or not. he's been getting quite a handful of fines late.

don't keep getting fines leh. i'd rather you to use the fine's amount to treat me to ichiban. :( REMEMBER NOT TO PARK AT ILLEGAL LOTS AND GET YOUR PARKING COUPONS, SEASON COUPONS AND TOP UP YOUR CASH CARD WHEN RUNNING LOW. FUEL ALSO RMB FILL UP WHEN RUNNING LOW, I DON'T WANNA END UP IN THE MIDDLE OF HIGHWAY. :P

11)TWITTER

i've been having a great time using twitter. be it using my berry or computer to tweet, i just love it! but it seems like none of my friends is using this application? go join twitter and join the fun with me!

twitter is a great creation bcos i get to scold and complain and whine there without having to blog. THUMBS UP for twitter. TWEET TWEET TWEET!

12)HANDPHONE

so far, my bb isn't giving me any technical problems, still loving it! the battery life is super amazing as i don't have to worry about my bb dying on me even if i'm out of house for the whole day with only half battery life left. :D

even though i don't have the data plans and i can't get to use the bbm but it's okay! i have wifi at home and at work. :D love the qwerty keyboard and it has suduko!!! meee loveee! ^^

13)HJF

i've many things to say to you. it;s like we see each other almost everyday but there's some stuffs which i don't tell you directly. maybe this is just my character? i express better in typing, NO NO to talking.

i know you can say out anything you feel or think freely but i'm different. at times i really can't.

you always think that my love towards you is not very much. like maybe, 1/4 of your love towards me? IN FACT, i think we're at the same level.

like what i've said earlier on, i don't express or show out the way you do but i do it in different ways. i'm quite sure you understand the fact that diffent people has different point of view and way of doing what they think is right.

i didn't mean to blae you or what just saying out my thoughts. you know i don't like you to see my blog in front of me or see the way i type. i don't know, i just don't like it. so please, don't come and ask me about it, cos you know i'll just talk about another topic and pretend that i didn't hear you asking me.

i know i'm weird at times, and am glad that you understand and accept this part of me as i know if it's for other guys, they would have lost their patience towards me. you're the best for knwoing me. :)

when on roads, you know what scares me the most?

flyovers, cutting in between cars and turning.

i'm scared that we might fall out of the high flyovers.
i'm scared of your rear mirrors hitting other cars' mirrors or my leg/hand being hit by the cars.
i'm scared we'll lose balance and fall on the ground really hard when turning.

did you notice any of this? i hope so.

i've always told you ma lu ru hu kou, roads like tiger's mouth?(haha, don't know how to translate) if you're not careful for one time, then that's it alr. anything can happen one.

if given a wish that will come true, i will not wish us to be together forever.

i will wish YOU to be safe on roads at ALL times.

even if we don't end up tgt next n\time, my wish will still remain the same cos i don't wanna experience the feeling of losing you.

that's all, rmb, don't talk anything about this infront of me. :)

on a side note, HAPPY NATIONAL DAY! everyone's gonna rush to marina this evening to watch fireworks except me! as i need to work. i wonder when's the last time i watched fireworks? or i haven't watch it before?i only watched them from my house's window since young. yes from far. pathetic right? :(

lastly, i doubt anyone reads cos it's still not official announced to my friends yet. hahaha. so i do wonder, who will ever bother to read? especially like this kind of wordy post?

is it you? :)

updates!

2009-08-03T17:45:00.001+08:00

i feel tired still, despite trying my best to get enough sleep. :(

supposely to wake up earlier than usual, go to bank get my money, get my cam at amk, then to work.

BUT in the end, everything didn't turn out how it SUPPOSE to be. :((((((((((

hjf woke up late.
we went for a quick breakfast cos my stomach can't wait till lunch.
went to amk and it's oos.
sad.
went to sim lim that particular store.
oos too.
double sad.
walk around, hoping there'll be a miracle.
found one with a good similar price.
just when i confirmed i'm getting it, he told me it's oos in his store too.
triple sadness.
as we walk out, we tried one last store.
good price plus free stuffs.
EVERYTHING was perfect.
again, when i was about to say i want it,
the guy told me that an improved version would be released ard sept.
he told me don't buy in such a rush as the better version is more worth it.
quadruple sadness!!!

AHHHHH!!!
i feel like crying can?! :(

but maybe, it's a blessing in disguise?
i wanna get it but he stopped me, telling me to wait for another 2 more months to get a better one.
oh well, i don't think he's lying to me.
i shall wait patiently another 2 months, since i've alr waited for so many years. :)

alright, since i can't get my camy,
it's the time of the month again...

TO SHOP!!!

i'm a good girl so i won't spend every cent of my pay. :D
so need to restock my cosmetics and skincare.
zxzxzxzxzxzxz.
my mum said that i work so much and in the end i will always use the money to 'yang' my face and not 'yang' myself. :x

but it's very important to me!
if my face is full of enlarged pores, zits, acnes and saggy skin, don't think hjf want me anymore.
LOL. just kidding. :DDD

hmm, it's august already!!!
i bet it's gonna be a hard time for all who are doing sales.
everyday in the shop doing nothing, staring in the air.
but lucky i have sophia with my at the opposite! :D

p.s just as i wanna post picture, i realized i can't click on the icon at all!!! it's not responding to my endless clicking. :( but i can click others leh. how? why like this? HAIZ!!!

but HEY! there's still photobucket. i almost forgotten that i did upload some pics over there and have alr resized! :D

so here, are some of the pics last thursday with hjf. :D

pls pardon the quality of the pictures cos it's all taken using my bb 2 mp lousy camera. okay, i've also given up on my eye bags alr. :( NVM!

SEE the mickey so cute right?! hjf caught it for ME at prize stage. :D it only took him 2 tries only. OMGOSH! he must be damn lucky that day, he even shouted "YESHHH!" so loudly lor. dumb boy. hahaha. :x

the mickey still can walk by itself when you on it.
but i haven't put in any batteries yet BUT I SWEAR it's awfully cute cos i saw the sample one walking round and round on the floor! so feel like pinching it. :x

haha, happy dating with hjf even it's quite a short one.
cos he's late that day and need to go bank to pay this and that blah balh.
too many to name out. :x
nvm, i forgive you.
when's our next dating????
i got my pay, let's go munch munch japanese restaurant!!! :DDD

btw i got my watsons member card too!
LOLS, i'm a watsons fan cannot meh? :x
i haven't use it yet.
anticipating!!!

BRING ME OUT AGAIN ON MY OFF DAY.
xoxo pinggg

p.s the last pic of hjf. hmm he's just trying to show me he has hidden double eyelids. BUT YOUR EYES ARE STILL AS SMALL AS DUST. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. :D

finally

2009-08-02T18:56:00.002+08:00

blogger is back to normal! :D will blog with picsss soon, maybe tmr? woohoo! :D

okay, ph last night wasn't as fun as i thought.
super squeezy plus filled with many weird ppl there.
a lot of thais and vietnam adults too.
i don't like. :(
sry, i'm not critisizing them uh, just feel weird lehzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxz.

hmm,
i actually prefer wed nights cos i think there's too much house music on sat and don't like that.
i still love r&b songs the most!
you spin my head right round, right round...

everything ended about near 5am... waited outside ps for hjf to come and fetch me.
he lost his way and had a hard time finding. lols. dumb dumb, made me wait for so long there, ppl thought i emo-ing alone. HAHA. :)

btw, think i'm getting my cam on mon or tues, thinking of it makes me wanna JUMP! omgomgomg x 100

okay, i promise i will start saving up this month.
what? i've worked for 2 years plus and i haven't save a single cent.
yes yes so what? cannot meh?
i'm going to start now ma. please give me a chance. :D

boohoo...

2009-07-29T22:09:00.000+08:00

i doubt there'll be any sales today. :(

don't care, tmr's my off day anyway. i'll just enjoy myself to the fullest and rest enough! :D

i'm all ready for ph with laopo!!! but right now, she hasn't done anything yet. lols.

anyway, i'm sure hjf would be reading this bcos he ALWAYS can't get to sleep whenever i go clubbing. hahaha. don't worry okay? nothing will happen to me, i'll take good care of myself FOR YOU. :) go play dota or smth, don't think so much, once i reach home, i'll ring you. :D

///

on a side note, i THINK my apply-mascara-on-the-lower-eyelash skill improve leh!!! lols, feels damn happy, i see at least there's SOMETHING. :D cos i can almost describe my eyeslash as BOTAK or DESERT. i'm serious lor. :( so little only. if i had natural long and full lashes i won't be putting on fake lashes, i'd have used macaras, more natural unlike fake lashes.

but now i can't wear fake lashes as often as i used to,like every single day? maybe it's bcos of the glue or my eyelid's sensitive. if i wear for too long, my eyelid would like, become swollen and red, feels pain too! :( so now, i only wear on my off days when i go dating with hjf or any chance i have when i'm not working.

i think it's good for me too, i won't be so dependent on it and become very self-consious. right? luckiy my cousin brain-washed me successfully if not till now, i wld keep wearing the fake lashes no matter how pain or uneasy i feel. THANK YOU BAOBAO I LOVE YOUUU! <3

lols, sucha random post. i just love to type type type, type all my thoughts out and throw it all HERE. :) i think twitter is superb cos if i only wanna type a sentence or two, i can tweet, if i wanna type a WHOLE chunk of rubbish, i just throw it here. TWITTER IS AWESOME. :DDD

gtg do my closing, hjf's coming soon too, to see me first then he go home. he just loves me too much. hahahahahaha. :D

i'm here...

2009-07-29T14:59:00.001+08:00

AGAIN! :D been having much fun with my bb nowadays. but i don't know how to use that bbm?! wasted luh... :(

ehhh, why the connection for the earpiece is on the side not on the top? when i plug in the earpiece i can't put it in the holster, i hate it. i wanna it to be in the holster and not carrying it with my hands when i'm on phone or music. sianzxzxzxzxzxzxz.

and why can't it vibrate and ring at the same time instead of vibrate then ring? i know it's not really a important factor but it's kinda pissing me off. :x finish vibrating alr then ring, the person on the other line would have hung up alr. but if ring only, can't hear then can't feel vibration how? lols, i thnk i'm such a mafan person. :x

but other than that, i'm sooo in love with it! :DDD thanks HJF again for buying it for me! <3 yesss meeeeee, only meeeeeeeeee. ;x

powerhouse tonight!!! :D main purpose is bcos of a secret mission. wahahaha, hope that laopo and me will accomplish it. :x and yayness for off day on the following day, double yayness for the NEXT following day cos it's PAYDAY! which also marks the second month i've worked at fiil, one more month to go! just one more month, and i'm outta this place. :)

but right now, i need to do counting for the salary for 3 staffs including myself. very important task so it must be done by someone who is responsible and honest which is yours truly! :x okay, bhb i know. boss trust me A LOT, seriously A LOT, till the extend he lets me to count my OWN salary and he didn't check AT ALL. omgosh, make me so stress only, what if i count wrongly? i'm so scare that i'll make mistakes and then he'll think i'm cheating. :( so i must make sure i count at least 10 times. oh YES, 10 times it'll be. :D

1off day per week is not enough for me at all.
not enough time for lovelove! we wanna go so many places tgt lor. but don't know when will we gonna fulfil ALL? before i die i hope. he said he wanna bring me to zoo, bird park, science center, sentosa, swimming, gyming, bball-ing, clubbing, eating good food, tattoos, piercings, mass neoprints tgt, rent past movies and dramas to watch, shopping, movies, MORE kbox, MORE cycling, MORE movies, more more more...

never enough.

so tell me, is one day per week ever enough for me?

HELL NO!

but! at the same time, i need to work, do something for a living. cannot play all day only. haha. how contradicting. :\

shall end here. byeee. :)

p.s why blogger isn't working yet? i need to flood my blog with loads of pictures soon, REAL soon. :)

EXCITEMENT-NESS!

2009-07-27T14:50:00.000+08:00

omgosh! i finally changed my phone and i'm so proud of my new phone bcos it's a gift from HJF! totally loving it! YUMS! :D
still figuring out how to use though, i'm quite slow. hahaha. :D

next is camera! which is on this coming weekend. seriously, i WISHED this time, everything will go smoothly, not like the other few times, having so much problems searching for it. :(

did you see the above picture of my blog? cannot be seen! i'm so gonna get it CHANGED once i have my cam. can't wait can't wait! :D

so many things to be done, so little time!
can i like, stop this job right away? :(
no time no time no time!

no time for myself,
no time for my friends,
no time for my cousins,
no time for blogging,
no time for HJF:)!!!

still have some stuffs need to be done before i forget!
1.new bank account(seriously must start to save some money and STOP spending like no tmr)
2.pay my bills(been oweing since dinosaur years)
3.braces(this need no reason)
4.photoshop install cd(lost mine and cannot be found:()
5.haircut(it's going out of shape like an auntie alr)

that's all for now.
MORE to come. :DDD

dear...

2009-07-25T16:31:00.000+08:00

i'm contantly checking my phone every few minutes.

just to see how many times would you call me.

oh my, am i going insane?
what exactly am i thinking?
i don't know.
am i angry? sad? frustrated? annoyed? just can't figure it out.

seriously, what's wrong with me? i so feel like killing myself. why am i behaving this way?

you really MEAN a lot to me, i'm not lying.

///

i really wanna go home. i feel very uncomfortable working here. it's damn dusty here and i can't stand breathing in this shop for more than 4hours.
the moment when i reach shop everyday, i just play the computer, eat my lunch.
after that, i'd feel so moody, miss home so much...

i miss my bed the most!
sighs, i think i didn't have enough rest this 2 weeks?
working 65 hours every week, i doubt no one would be able to have enough rest. :(

MY ENERGY ARE ALL DRAINED OUT...

woopsss

2009-07-25T13:02:00.002+08:00

i really don't wanna neglect my blog, just that...

i don't seem to have much stuffs to blog about.

MOST IMPORTANTLY!!!

no good camera to take quality picturesss. :(

BAH!!!

you'll know it's true :)

2009-07-19T18:51:00.009+08:00

4 more hours to off from work.

imma happy and satisfied girl today cos i plucked my eyebrows and bought new pair of contact lens for myself! :D

but sadly, have to come for work at 5pm! tired, so tiring. my eyes are closing and can't seem to stop yawning.

--

HAHAHAHA. hjf♥ ♥ ♥

i think i could understand

2009-07-18T15:45:00.003+08:00

hihi.

work is damn boring can? the crowd at cine is like, people mountain people sea!!! cos of harry potter.

BUT HOW COME NO ONE COMES IN TO BUY ANY CLOTHES ONE?!

sickening leh. you know i need to keep worrying about everyday's sales? and that no one would buy anything? scared leh. i wish to leave this place real soon so i don't have to stress myself. :(

but if i leave, no more restaurant city siao alr. HAHAHA. not sian one lor rc. but how come the money earn so slow one? i wanna buy MORE ingredientsso i can lvl all dishes to 10. hehehe...

here, some pictures taken on thursday night with my girls. :D

blah. if i had my own camera i'll flood my posts with many many pictures for sure one lor. :(

nothing better to do

2009-07-17T14:27:00.002+08:00

after 48329055483 years, i finally met up sf and serene. not much changes in them, still the same old smelly faces. :P

aye, i think we shld have gone somewhere else. inside club how to chit chat and catch up?! lols.

but still, i did enjoy the moments with ya'll during the few hours. cos of work luh, if not i don't have to leave early. ARGH. :(

serene pls tag me the pictures soon, ugly ones pls delete. HAHAHA. :D

--

sometimes i just cannot stop wondering, is there really a guy who will love the one and only girl whole heartily? and will never ever change the love towards her?

i don't know.

cos i always see some couples(some are my friends) who were so in love and their r/s seems so so stable, like 2 to 5 years like machiam confirm chop chop will become husband and wife in the future that kind but out of a sudden, without any warning. they could just broke off.

why? i always wonder... i feel it's really a pity. for a r/s to just end like this.

i mean, both alr know each other so well, wouldn't it be so tiring to keep looking for a new one? and keep repeating the same stuffs over and over again? like, self introduce, work, studies, hobbies, interests, hates, family, friends, past r/s etc... you know you know??

if i could choose and decide for my life, i'd choose to truly love only once and be with the only him in my lifetime.

that's enough.

cos i feel once is more than enough for a true love.

and i don't like the phrase,"you have to kiss many frogs before you meet your prince."

for me, i only wanna kiss my prince, i don't wanna kiss any ugly frogs. EWWW!ZXZXZXZ!!
hey you! i know you can't stop smiling when you see this right. hahahaha.

stupid

2009-07-15T13:06:00.002+08:00

hi, i just deleted my previous posts. lols. like so dumb luh?

whatever, just feel like erasing them.

lots of things to share about leh, but no camera to take picture. :( x 100

i think i so love my life right now. work, shopping, love, sleep after every long days i had. :D

just that i feel i'm lack of friendship. hmm, i do feel weird sometimes, the feeling is indescribable. :\